Poems

How can I build my home in sujood 

How do I rid the stench I smell from my body 

How can I eliminate the worlds whispers 

Which grip me so tightly 

How can I let go of a heart which is blackened 

By lies, deceit and lust 

How can I let my dhikr 

Be as sweet as honey 

How can I throw away

My grief 

So far 

How can I tell myself 

Tayyaba you are working so hard 

I wash my face 

And my mascara runs down my cheeks 

And I wash my face 

Because I don’t want to feel my own tears 

I wash inside my ears 

To cleanse the gossips 

And rinse my mouth which tell lies 

I cleanse my arms 

Which make me want to reach out to sin 

I cleanse my feet which lead me 

In the opposite direction from you 

Yet every night

I plead to you 

To heal my confusing heart 

To give me courage to do what’s right 

To stand on the goodness of morals 

And I bow 

Exhausted Of seeing this world 

Asking Allah 

How can I build my home 

In my sujood 

shopper bagon mein meri zindagi reh gaye hai

in these plastic bags are the remains of my life

undergarments, shoes, scrubs

Noor passed away

So i will write today

of her battles

and her secondary saddles which helped support

her legs

allah took her away

and now i pray her soul will be free

from the dunya

and what she wasn’t able to do

i pray she can fly

in burzakh

all her pain

and i think of pain

the ache of this dunya

my creator

make me your humble slave

draft

I don’t think i am able to write because I am experiencing so many things in the speed of lightening, so when i do sit…I cannot process just one thought. There are many faceless photos when i do hold up my phone camera because the enlightenment of capturing moments isn’t as exciting. Perhaps it is because I need to be settled to comprehend what I am feeling. Maybe it is just the simple transition. I open my medium page and wonder what exactly to write. My new idea to walk around and explore L.A and the passion of the street vendors selling all kinds of their different foods and culture while also understanding their way of life, kids and struggles. I hope i can transition my blog into something amazing. But then again, i think of transitions, and im trying to take it very slow to create something much more thoughtful yet super amazing. wish me luck.