تنها

My loneliness and I

take the road less traveled by

I hide and she seeks

once screaming to the skies

The monsoon rain

so sweet

Laughing at a reflection so subtle

so discrete

The kids jumped in puddles

and God would speak

In the streets filled with love

yet sometimes defeat

Vendors holla Mash’Allah

when they see

Women decored in modesty

she pulled my veil

I wonder what she needs

following the steps I leave behind

Through the trail with wooden beads

we became one in the long afternoons

Somewhere in the east

ceased my soul

Now its hard to find me

wasted in sighs

My loneliness and I

take the road less traveled by

I hide and she often seeks

 

 

o que a água me deu

I let the water run

let myself seep

this is what you call being contained

water contained

silence contained

am i contained

by life’s guilty pleasures

but really what the fuck

because i cant find the words

lurk, rust, agony, grief, focus

its all been said before

why are they never enough

why are we never enough

in this flawed universe

so perfectly pottered from his hands

but wait i am too

am i missing something?

potential

i think of potential

and jail cells

i touch down and feel erotic

with this skin over bones

weak flesh

weak bones

a strong being

when can you trace my contours

why do we rely on one another

merely bound

my mother says not to waste water

i think of the thirsty

for life

for love

for lust

i close my eyes

he says to let the filth leave

drain it out

meu amor

i tell her all the time

she lets herself lose

she’ll love to dance in your arms

wearing all white

everything so pure

thats what i am supposed to be

why these names

why these labels

HERE COMES THE SUN LITTLE DARLIN’, AREN’T YOU GLAD TO SEE IT?

Nina,

leave me alone

i have a lump in my throat

i turn the tap off

stay still

they’re so loud

so many of her

are so loud

in this silence

so much noise i hear

can you listen

He does

i try to uuh vice versa

but i am in front of his ventricles’ steps

he don’t let me in no no no my baby my baby i wonder when he gonna let me in

why he giving me quests but hey i don’ mind 

as long as he still infatuated, he still mineeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i like creating my own tunes and words

Quero cantar como um pássaro

no one can own anybody, he is free to leave

i laugh in my mind

but my lungs

they weep

if you could only

starve me

then feed me

and free me

until i

run my fingers in my long black brittle hair and

leave them to soak in a tub full of ambition.

Why don’t you give me the strength you’re supposed to? 

Innocence knocked

Innocence knocked on these ill fated doorsteps

There lie a cry inside my corset

A snarl surrounded by a string quartet

And I forfeit

He rest not a jasmine

Stance in wry

Black satin

Vermilion veil forsaken to pacify

Slipping palms of earthly soil

Shrieks of theft, say NAY!

Iblees incites who to foil?

Zalimun! Her nafs hisses as it lay

Ek Khaali qabar,

An empty grave

Kudai jisne yeh gehrahi, ab vo raha ghulam,

Whom ever so dug this deep, remains a slave

 

 

Ashen

 

Retracing steps

 I am misery

He says

I am misery

Pinching

A droplet of venom

Drowning me in my own sinking

Deeper and deeper

I go under

The sleep of enchantment awakes

Aroused with passion

I touch

She grasps

The linens tussle

Spirit

I am embraced

But flesh remains

Seizing the beat

Breath before breath

Dispersing the ugly

Boundlessly

The sleep of enchantment awakes

Thread follows

An unbridled soul 

Into the mouth

For the skies of resolution

As he departs for another’s awakening